Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Sub-par?

Oh jeez my last blog post was 13 days ago...I've really dropped the ball lately. I have typed up several posts and had them sitting in my queue and then just decided to delete them. Something was missing and wasn't feeling right. But there has been something on my mind I feel like I need to get out. The last couple of days I have been thinking about my role as a mom. I'm hooked on pinterest and reading other "mom blogs" and it's been making me feel sub-par in the mom department lately. When I was the "working mom" I looked at stay at home moms and thought they have all the time in the world to get things done. They are the ones posting the pictures of these fabulous birthday parties and their perfect DIY salon design nails or perfectly organized and decorated homes. I'm always left feeling somewhere in the middle and never the top. Now that I'm home I'm seeing it from the other side...there is never enough time for the mounds of wash, the dusting of every surface, picking up a million toys though out their rooms and your living room. I feel like I have less time management now then I did when I worked. Sure the floor needed to be mopped over the weekend but I didn't get to it till today. Everyday seeing that spot on the floor and just walking over it while getting Liv another snack or holding her up to clean her hands in the sink. I keep thinking most moms should be like me right? I'm not the only one looking at these pictures of perfect things and thinking what am I not doing right? I loose my patience more than I like to admit but it happens. And then the mom guilt kicks in. Sometimes I just want to watch a show without an interruption or read a chapter of a book and not get distracted. Then the guilt again. Every mom wants to be perfect. With an 8 year old and now a 2 year old I'm thinking I need to start accepting that I'm not perfect and I need to let go of the guilt sometimes. We need alone time. Peace and quiet. A time just for us. We get lost in the kids because they need us. We get lost in housework because we think the house needs to look amazing..just in case someone stops by. We get lost in looking at picture after picture of perfectly balanced meals online and perfectly styled families with their beautiful family photos. I understand that what we see on here is never the WHOLE story but  the way technology is now we have a view into everyone's home but only what they want us to see. But it still affects us because all we see is the perfection. I wish more people would start posting  their junk. Their messing kitchen..the pile of laundry, and the kids' toys all over the floor. An honest view. I guess it's time to start letting it go and just being glad we have a roof over our head, food in our bellies, and a lot of love to share. The laundry will get done eventually right?

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